How Shared Values Grow Strong Relationship With Your Customers

Building relationships

“I Like You, But We Don’t Have a Relationship!”

As in Dating, Strong Customer Relationships Require Shared Values

So your customers “like” you. And, at some point, you want them to become “engaged,” and then eventually commit to a serious relationship, proclaiming their “loyalty,” rather than seeing other companies. The goal of marketing in the early stages of contact – just like in dating – is to connect with your date (“prospect”) and check for fit, not to force a relationship. Are we compatible? Do we value the same things?

Do people really want a “relationship” with your company? It turns out that most customers aren’t looking for one. A recent Harvard study revealed that only 23% of participants actually want a relationship with a brand. If a relationship grows organically, well, then great. Some prospects just want to date, explore, and have fun first.

Some organizations operate on a belief that frequent interactions will lead to more likes, and, eventually to that holy grail of relationship. It’s the equivalent of a propinquity mentality in dating. In personal relationships that approach doesn’t work well. So why do we think frequency operates as online “relationship” currency with impersonal brands we barely know? Imagine marketers saying, “We had a good first date, and now I’m going to call her incessantly.” The bar should be higher for faceless contact with organizations we just “met.”

Sure, there are always the relationships we have because they are convenient, not necessarily because they are going to last. Yet, frequency without chemistry and meaningful connections never leads to a strong relationship or loyalty. It may just lead to a few good “dates” with your organization. That same Harvard study also showed that brand interactions, regardless of frequency, do not lead to relationships. Shared values do.

A ‘like’ may lead to another date. However, it’s not a buy-in to any relationship, or an invite to be bombarded with any marketing, let alone to be suffocated by jargon monoxide poisoning. Intense information marketing based on a single contact is like the guy you said hi to in the market that now thinks you’re “interested” and tells you he is looking to settle down: too much info way too soon.

So how do we develop that customer relationship? Through trust. We build trust by being who we say we are, and leading with our values, mission, and sense of purpose. A ‘like’ gives us another chance to converse; a relationship develops when chemistry based on shared values emerges. We can’t connect with organizations that hide behind jargon and information overload to short-change the romance and move quickly to a “rational” information-based relationship. There is no “rational” relationship.

Successful romancing of customers involves the clear communication of a higher purpose. Great examples include, Zappos, and Toms Shoes, for example. Creating a visceral connection is the only way to cut through noise and move towards ‘meaningful’ touches. Not all touches – as in dating – are equal. That first date is about establishing chemistry. Over time, touches should become more meaningful because each subsequent touch reveals more of who we are and what we believe. How else can strangers get to know one another?

Every marketer communicates, few really connect. So before you send out that next email, ask yourself, am I aiming for my prospect’s heart? Great marketing that succeeds in the long-run deepens the human connection with your audience.

There are short-lived relationships and then there are those you bring home to Mom. Forget interaction frequency, engagement, even “likes.” Turns out that Mom was right – serious relationships always involve an alignment of values and hearts, not minds. So keep frequent data-driven “touches” to yourself.' About Kathy Klotz-Guest

Marketing strategist, improviser, and storyteller, CEO of Keeping it Human, Kathy Klotz-Guest is also a popular marketing speaker. She is helping organizations succeed by turning marketing-speak into human-speak. You can catch her on Thursdays live on BlogTalkRadio.


  1. LOVE this! Have often tried to explain the same thing to a client when they excitedly get a “Like” on Facebook. Whoa Nelly! That’s all it is. It’s not permission to stalk.

    Your comment about a higher purpose reminded me it was time to publish the ThinkResults Manifesto, which outlines our philosophy for how we are with clients, with each other, and in the world at large. So I just did:

    Understanding your culture and what you stand for is such an important exercise. It guides your daily priorities.

    Thanks for a great post.


Speak Your Mind


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Visit Us
Follow Me
Women In Consulting Blog